Tuesday, January 3, 2017

Don't Look at Me!

Don't look at me says every chicken ever!  I'm not looking at you, chicken. I'm looking at my egg carton.

My egg carton says Eggland's Best Cage Free eggs.  They may be cage free but I wish they also said carton free.

Yes, you guessed it!  Two or three of every dozen (I had bought 3 dozen) were stuck to the plastic carton.  There were no apparent cracks in any of the eggs.

How is a consumer supposed to know whether or not it is a good carton of eggs or not?

I'll tell you ~ now that I know.

I called the phone number on the Eggland's Best carton and spoke with an eggy representative.  She was polite in a passive aggressive manner and blamed me for not doing the special egg test at the market before I bought them.

I explained the situation and how it appeared that the eggs were glued to the carton and there was no visible cracks.  (Mind you, these particular cartons are clear and you can see all sides of the egg.). She went on to say that sometimes the packing plant may break an egg and then take out the shell and just put a good egg in its place.  The egg whites are clear (at this point, I was making a oh gosh face as if she didn't realize I knew that) and could work in an adhesive manner thus the good egg sticking.

And how am I responsible for this?

Well, she was happy to tell me.  Had I done the slight of hand trick over the eggs at the market, I would not have bought this particular carton. I guess it would have instead been purchased by some other unknowing shopper.  "Stick" it to the other guy is what I'm evidently supposed to do.

I am not one to "stick it to the other guy" so I have come here to educate (and rant to) anyone who is reading.  What we are "supposed to do", according to the Eggland lady, is to lift the clear top of the carton and then the secondary top of the carton (yes, there are two) and run your hand gently over all the eggs.  If the eggs wiggle, then none are stuck.  If an egg does not, then it is stuck.

So I am picturing myself doing this (it's okay to laugh) and then I decided to just not purchase Eggland's Best Cage (but not Carton) free eggs ever again.

Checking the eggs for cracks is understandable.  Running my hand over them to see if they will levitate is not.

At least I have answered the question plaguing us for ages: Why did the chicken cross the road?  So it wouldn't be blamed for its eggs sticking to the carton.